10 Things I Have Learned
Over the Past Month
1. Finding a job around Xmas is impossible.
This is so freaking obvious that I'm kind of embarrassed to be starting with it, but its the truth!
I've never been in the position of having to look for a job this time of year, so I had no idea. When you're already out of your mind over not being able to find a job for as long as I have, you begin to lose sight of what is really up against you. The problem is that there is the illusion that there are all these jobs available right now, but my problem is that I am neither 17 or a crackhead, so that seasonal position at KB toys wont really work out for me.
2. Supermarkets are run by teenagers.
What in the hell is going on here? I accidentally found myself in a Market Basket on a Sunday just recently, and after being ignored by several of the staff, misdirected in my search for molasses by another, nearly mowed down by a child in a uniform pushing a flat bed cart full of cookies on my way to the checkout, only to be called "ma'am" by a mouth full of braces at the register, it all became painfully clear. Supermarkets are run by kids. The implications of this are horrifying and disgusting and I am just grateful that I do not eat things that come from behind the deli counter.
3. I actually rather enjoy baking cupcakes.
Evidence is that I am broke as hell but was still able to convince myself that I needed to buy the fancy tip set for decorating. A side note to this:
4. I think I'm officially an adult because I can make the cupcake batter and the frosting without eating the equivalent of three cupcakes before the batter hits the pan and the frosting has been piped. Furthermore, I was able to throw out the left over frosting, instead of convincing myself that it was worthy of being saved so it could be had as a snack later on that night.
5. I honestly have no idea what kind of job I'm looking for.
I've belabored this point too many times on this blog to get into the depressing details of it now, but it needed to be said.
6. Being unemployed and looking for work is a full time job.
If you've ever been in this position, you know what I'm talking about. If you're out of the loop, I'm going to just leave you there, you privileged jerk.
7. The average housewife can kick my ass.
One of the upsides to this whole unemployment thing is all the time I now have to go to the gym - who knew I'd love spin so much? I did a body conditioning class last week, and I've assumed that because I work out as often as I do, I'm therefore in terrific shape. Not so, because as it turns out I've been living in a fools paradise my friends. For an hour last Thursday, I gasped, throbbed, buckled and shook with fear as I lunged, curled and squatted my muscles into submission, while all the other ladies(moms!) were gliding, smiling and bouncing around to the beat. I felt great in the end, but holy shit did I look like a chump.
8. Scramble for iPhone is powerfully addicting.
Just saying.
9. The Talk is an awful show, and a terrible, terrible reflection on women. Sometimes while I dine on lunch I'll switch gears from out of my studio/dungeon and into the living room/dungeon to indulge in a little bit of the boob, and I'll admit I have watched small bits of The Talk. I'm mostly interested in seeing what it's all about because it's such a blatant rip off (or "answer to" if you want to be nice) of The View, of which I am very much a huge fan. The View is funny. It has very good, quality guests. One of the hosts is easily the most amazing lady in journalism, and another is one of the most prolific women in show business, and at any rate, all of them are intelligent and funny in their own right. What the hell does The Talk have? Scientologist-crazy-pants Leah Remini? Who-ever-the-hell-some-basketball-players wife? And I don't even care that Sarah Gilbert is a lesbian, she is BORING. A show for moms by moms! BORING! They are whiney about the mundane, but they are not funny when they do it. When you break it down, all these woman talk about is how they've spoiled their children and don't know how to undo it, how its okay (and their RIGHT!) to look at their husbands texts messages, rule their mens lives, and how the only 'them-time that their men are allowed' is the thoughts they have in between their ears. "Yeah, I guess thats okay" was Leah Remini's thoughts on that last statement, I guess in admitting defeat over her hopes to dominate other peoples thoughts. These women are terrible. They do not reflect well what I believe and hope most modern women are about. Not even Joan Osbourne has the power to lift this show up from the dregs that it has deposited itself into. I want this show to fail and I want it to fail bad. Come on ladies, please stop watching this show, please? I won't do it again either, I promise.
10. In spite of how much I bitch and hate my current situation, I do not regret a thing about any of the decisions I've made that have put me in this place.
I mull over the 'what-ifs' every once in a while. What if I went to school for something different? Or if I had worked a little harder and had gotten into the college that I actually wanted to go to? Or if I had done the smart thing and had moved home after school to save money...honestly, I wouldn't change a thing.
Everything I've done has put me in this spot, and while sometimes it sucks, a lot of the time, I'm really happy with my life. I've always believed that the people you surround yourself with are going to be a lot more important to you in the long run than any career you could have had. And while its very much important for me to find a job that I like, I'm already really ahead of the game because I've found a lot of good people in this world that I'm in. From Huntington Long Island to the fine suburb of North Reading Massachusetts, I've found a lot of wonderful friends along the way. I'm with a man that I'm crazy about, I have a family that is beyond compare, and an extended family of friends that I hold onto dearly. Jobs will come and go, and this is probably not going to be the last time I'm going to be unemployed in my life, but the support and the folks I have will never change (I hope! I'm really trying hard to not do that thing where I drink till I blackout and embarrass everyone in the room any more, I swear! thats the old me!).
And as explicit and uncomfortable as it is sometimes to say these fears I have out loud, it does help to talk to people about it, and I'm so grateful that people have been listening. At holiday party #2 this weekend, a friend(whose 'been there') kindly sat with me throughout the loud chaos of the party and talked me down from my ledge and I think convinced me that things will be okay, and I think I actually do believe her.
10 1/2. I think I'm going to be just fine.
At least until I decide otherwise tomorrow.
Anyone learn anything good this year?
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